If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord.
Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that
young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
-Frequently wears black clothing. [me]
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. [me]
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish. [i wear the blackest black times infinity]
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols. [an ankh is bad? what the fuck?]
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. [me]
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) [anti-social genres? give me a fucking break...how ignorant]
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. [watch out, we'll kick you apart by being eccentric!]
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports. [yea, because they suck...]
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. [yea, because that stuff is cool...]
[give them all to me.]
-Drinks alcohol. [give it all to me.]
-Is suicidal and/or depressed. [both, please :)]
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.) [omg.]
-Complains of boredom. [i am boredom.]
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. [me]
-Is excessively awake during the night. [me]
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) [hahahaha!]
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. [you'd masterbate frequently if you were single too!]
-Spends large amounts of time alone. [masterbating]
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.) [aside from being exceedingly redundant..omg...]
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. [Hey, MOM, DAD! Let's go smoke so much pot that our lungs pop, then go get so drunk we end up at a resteraunt ordering a salad we don't even remember speaking about, then rushing outside, raging pissed, hit an ex-bf in the foot with the door, he screams, yet you just walk away drunker than shit, then walk right back in...]
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this. [they disregaurd me, if anything..]
-Misbehaves at school. [i still misbehave at school]
-Misbehaves at home. [it my fuckin house, bitch!]
-Eats excessively or too little. [i love me some food]
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. [oh for fuck's sake..]
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.) [one day i'll be a vampire, and totally slaughter whoever wrote this..]
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) [if it weren't for tv i'd probably be a serial killer.]
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
[role-playing nature? what does that mean?]
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. [i am a computer]
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. ["she's making those 'satanic symbols' again, and she's started to violently shake her head to music priest sir.." i love this mental image]
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. [so are you saying all black people are going to hell? what racists! *hahaha*]
-Expresses an interest in sex. [ME]
-Masturbates [almost too much]
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. [i am both :) hahaha]
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
[ i agree bout the SCIENTOLOGY, but buddhism?]
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". [HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!]
-Claims to be a goth. (again, "woe is me", ahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church
god i'm so goth i can hardly stand it!
~St. Mary's Catholic Church