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2 years?!

i can't believe i haven't posted in that long!
not that it really matters...i don't have many friends on here, they've all read my blog on myspace...which is more of a book, so when it comes to my livejournal...i've just kind of been oblivious to it's existance.

but, i've gotta get this out, so..

on jun 18th i recieved an e-mail from logan, here are some excerpts: "so since i have been back im seeing you everywhere and its bringing back lots of feelings." then an apology..says he wants to speak face to face, or via txts, bla bla..then this is the rest (hahaahaha)..."basically i am really sorry for the way i treated you. i hope one day you will forgive me. i shouldnt have done somethings i did, and shouldnt have said somethings i did. but mainly i want you to know that i still hold a place for you in my heart. You believed in me when no one did. you loved me when no one would. thank you so much for that. please lets talk."

so i did what any self respecting woman would...and ignored it completely..ha!

to no avail though.

i can't remember exactly when, but needless to say i received a txt message from him one night, whilst being drunk, playing guitar hero with cate and dave aka cave and date.

i was pissed. so i asked him where he got my number.

replied with "is it such a bad thing?"

and to be honest...i think it was in a way, but we'll get to that soon enough.

so i told him why i didn't want to, bla bla, more apologies from him, but then it got late so we decided to talk the next day.

at noon sharp i received yet another, and we started talking about hanging out that day;
ever since he had e-mailed me i wanted to see him, for some fucking reason, and in the back of my mind...like always...i was already fantasizing about being back with him.

so after a couple hours of our usual backandforth cynacism, it was happening.

i was actually gonna see the person who destroyed my heart 2 years ago, face to face...

:and next time on darby's crazy fucked up life: SEX, LAUGHTER, DISERTION, BETRAYAL, AND A PUNCH IN THE FACE!


It fucking sucks when you let someone back in.
Sometimes, it works for the better though; You either get reminded why you hate that person so much, and how terrible they were and the reasons why they're not part of your life anymore...

...but then sometimes, the good times are the only times that keep getting repeating in your head. And then you think you want it all back.

I fucking hate them.
Steady as she goes

April 2009

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